Pre-Moni-ción (Viva Honduras)

¿Nos hemos vuelto todos locos? Parece que el futururo del país depende sólo de un partido contra Chile. Que si ganamos, que empatamos, que si perdemos. No había tanta gente haciendo cuentas en España desde la crisis de principios de los noventa.

¿Qué pasaría si a Honduras le diese por ganar a los helvéticos?

Si ocurre os daré la brasa para que se vean mis conocimientos sin igual. En caso contrario borraré la entrada y se acabó.

Roban la identidad de Mónico en clase.

 A lo largo de este último año, cada vez que un profesor ha preguntado por el delegado de curso siempre ha sucedido lo mismo. Un fulano (de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme) de pinta repelente, pelo repelente y gafas de niño repelente, levanta su repelente pezuña para hacerse con tal honor.

 Sabemos que Mónico va menos a clase que Ernesto de Hannover a las reuniones de Alcohólicos Anónimos, pero eso no te da derecho a usurpar el puesto de Moni ¿Te enteras, niño repelente?. Haber estado el día de las votaciones. Estábamos cuatro y a tí no te recuerdo por allí. Jódete, nadie votó por ti (posiblemente por repelente). 

 Preséntate al casting para vedettes del nuevo programa de Jose Luís Moreno, sé el hombre del tiempo en el canal televisivo de tu comunidad de vecinos o, yo qué se, viola gatos en las alcantarillas, pero no pongas tus sucias manos sobre el sillón de mi querido Mónico.

 Por el bien de la sociedad, querido niño repelente, muérete.

 Besos y abrazos afectuosos.

PD: Maitane debería hacer algo.

 Fdo: Almirante Croqueta.

El Poker con Moni

 Lo que sigue es el regstro de una partida al juego PokerTH en la que Moni y un servidor jugamos hoy.
 Moni, tras un desagradable incidente con un All-In en la primera partida, demostró en ésta segunda poder templar los nervios y ganar.
 El lector avezado verá cómo he sido un mero espectador (haciendo putadillas y eso) sin posibilidad de victoria tras el All-In en el que nuestro héroe se pone con más de cinco millones de fichas.

Game: 2 | Hand: 1

BLIND LEVEL: $500 / $1000
Seat 1: Dre ($1000000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($1000000)
Seat 3: RAFFAELE CT ($1000000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($1000000)
Seat 5: aksh42 ($1000000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($1000000)
Seat 7: monna ($1000000)
Seat 8: Wolf ($1000000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($1000000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($1000000)
BLINDS: Dre ($500), Enrique ($1000)
Mnko starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
RAFFAELE CT bets $2000.
Snakebo calls $2000.
aksh42 calls $2000.
Sankar-India folds.
monna calls $2000.
Wolf calls $2000.
goldmoney calls $2000.
Mnko calls $2000.
Dre calls $1500.
Enrique calls $1000.

FLOP [board cards 6d,Tc,5c]
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
RAFFAELE CT bets $1000.
Snakebo folds.
aksh42 calls $1000.
monna folds.
Wolf calls $1000.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Mnko folds.
Dre calls $1000.
Enrique calls $1000.

TURN [board cards 6d,Tc,5c,Ts]
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
RAFFAELE CT bets $1000.
aksh42 calls $1000.
Wolf calls $1000.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Dre calls $1000.
Enrique calls $1000.

RIVER [board cards 6d,Tc,5c,Ts,4d]
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
RAFFAELE CT bets $1000.
aksh42 folds.
Wolf folds.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Dre bets $2000.
Enrique folds.
RAFFAELE CT bets $2000.
goldmoney calls $2000.
Dre calls $1000.
Dre shows [ Kd,Th] - Three of a Kind, Tens
RAFFAELE CT shows [ 5s,8h] - Two Pairs, Tens and Fives
goldmoney shows [ Kh,9d] - One Pair, Tens

Dre wins $39000

Game: 2 | Hand: 2

BLIND LEVEL: $500 / $1000
Seat 1: Dre ($1032000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($996000)
Seat 3: RAFFAELE CT ($993000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($998000)
Seat 5: aksh42 ($996000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($1000000)
Seat 7: monna ($998000)
Seat 8: Wolf ($996000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($993000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($998000)
BLINDS: Enrique ($500), RAFFAELE CT ($1000)
Dre starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Snakebo calls $1000.
aksh42 bets $2000.
Sankar-India calls $2000.
monna calls $2000.
Wolf calls $2000.
goldmoney calls $2000.
Mnko calls $2000.
Dre calls $2000.
Enrique calls $1500.
RAFFAELE CT bets $2000.
Snakebo calls $2000.
aksh42 is all in with $994000.
Sankar-India folds.
monna calls $994000.
Wolf is all in with $994000.
goldmoney folds.
Mnko folds.
Dre folds.
Enrique folds.
RAFFAELE CT folds.
Snakebo folds.
aksh42 shows [Td,Ah]
monna shows [Kc,8c]
Wolf shows [Ts,Qh]

FLOP [board cards Tc,Ac,Kh]

TURN [board cards Tc,Ac,Kh,Ks]

RIVER [board cards Tc,Ac,Kh,Ks,6c]
aksh42 has [ Td,Ah] - Two Pairs, Aces and Kings
monna has [ Kc,8c] - Flush, Ace high
Wolf has [ Ts,Qh] - Two Pairs, Kings and Tens

monna wins $3004000
aksh42 sits out
Wolf sits out Wolf has left the game!

Game: 2 | Hand: 3

BLIND LEVEL: $500 / $1000
Seat 1: Dre ($1030000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($994000)
Seat 3: RAFFAELE CT ($990000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($995000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($998000)
Seat 7: monna ($3006000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($991000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($996000)
BLINDS: RAFFAELE CT ($500), Snakebo ($1000)
Enrique starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Sankar-India calls $1000.
aksh42 has left the game!
monna calls $1000.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Mnko calls $1000.
Dre calls $1000.
Enrique calls $1000.
RAFFAELE CT bets $1500.
Snakebo calls $1000.
Sankar-India calls $1000.
monna calls $1000.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Mnko folds.
Dre calls $1000.
Enrique calls $1000.

FLOP [board cards Kh,5d,8c]
RAFFAELE CT bets $1000.
Snakebo bets $10000.
Sankar-India folds.
monna calls $10000.
goldmoney calls $10000.
Dre folds.
Enrique folds.
RAFFAELE CT bets $18000.
Snakebo calls $9000.
monna folds.
goldmoney calls $9000.

TURN [board cards Kh,5d,8c,Js]
RAFFAELE CT bets $570000.
Snakebo is all in with $974000.
goldmoney folds.
RAFFAELE CT is all in with $399000.
RAFFAELE CT shows [8d,Jd]
Snakebo shows [5c,Ks]

RIVER [board cards Kh,5d,8c,Js,2d]
RAFFAELE CT has [ 8d,Jd] - Two Pairs, Jacks and Eights
Snakebo has [ 5c,Ks] - Two Pairs, Kings and Fives

Snakebo wins $2025000
RAFFAELE CT sits out

Game: 2 | Hand: 4

BLIND LEVEL: $500 / $1000
Seat 1: Dre ($1028000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($992000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2025000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($996000)
Seat 7: monna ($2994000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($970000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($995000)
BLINDS: Snakebo ($500), Sankar-India ($1000)

PREFLOP
monna calls $1000.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Mnko calls $1000.
Dre calls $1000.
Enrique calls $1000.
Snakebo calls $500.
Sankar-India checks.

FLOP [board cards Jc,Qd,6d]
RAFFAELE CT has left the game!
Snakebo bets $10000.
Sankar-India calls $10000.
monna calls $10000.
goldmoney calls $10000.
Mnko folds.
Dre folds.
Enrique calls $10000.

TURN [board cards Jc,Qd,6d,Ks]
Snakebo bets $10000.
Sankar-India folds.
monna calls $10000.
goldmoney folds.
Enrique calls $10000.

RIVER [board cards Jc,Qd,6d,Ks,Qs]
Snakebo bets $10000.
monna folds.
Enrique calls $10000.
Enrique shows [ Ad,2s] - One Pair, Queens
Snakebo shows [ 7s,Jh] - Two Pairs, Queens and Jacks

Snakebo wins $107000

Game: 2 | Hand: 5

BLIND LEVEL: $1000 / $2000
Seat 1: Dre ($1027000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($961000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2101000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($985000)
Seat 7: monna ($2973000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($959000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($994000)
BLINDS: Sankar-India ($1000), monna ($2000)
Snakebo starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
goldmoney calls $2000.
Mnko calls $2000.
Dre calls $2000.
Enrique calls $2000.
Snakebo calls $2000.
Sankar-India calls $1000.
monna checks.

FLOP [board cards Tc,3s,5d]
Sankar-India checks.
monna checks.
goldmoney checks.
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
Snakebo checks.

TURN [board cards Tc,3s,5d,5c]
Sankar-India checks.
monna checks.
goldmoney checks.
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
Snakebo checks.

RIVER [board cards Tc,3s,5d,5c,2s]
Sankar-India checks.
monna folds.
goldmoney checks.
Mnko bets $35000.
Dre folds.
Enrique folds.
Snakebo calls $35000.
Sankar-India calls $35000.
goldmoney calls $35000.
Snakebo shows [ 2d,Ad] - Two Pairs, Fives and Deuces
Sankar-India shows [ 6d,3c] - Two Pairs, Fives and Threes
goldmoney shows [ 9d,As] - One Pair, Fives
Mnko shows [ Th,7h] - Two Pairs, Tens and Fives

Mnko wins $154000

Game: 2 | Hand: 6

BLIND LEVEL: $1000 / $2000
Seat 1: Dre ($1025000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($959000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2064000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($948000)
Seat 7: monna ($2971000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($922000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($1111000)
BLINDS: monna ($1000), goldmoney ($2000)
Sankar-India starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Mnko calls $2000.
Dre calls $2000.
Enrique calls $2000.
Snakebo folds.
Sankar-India calls $2000.
monna calls $1000.
goldmoney checks.

FLOP [board cards Tc,Th,Kd]
monna checks.
goldmoney checks.
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
Sankar-India checks.

TURN [board cards Tc,Th,Kd,7s]
monna checks.
goldmoney checks.
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Enrique checks.
Sankar-India checks.

RIVER [board cards Tc,Th,Kd,7s,3h]
monna folds.
goldmoney bets $2000.
Mnko calls $2000.
Dre folds.
Enrique calls $2000.
Sankar-India folds.
Enrique shows [ Qh,Jd] - One Pair, Tens, third card King
goldmoney shows [ Ah,9c] - One Pair, Tens, third card Ace
Mnko shows [ 9h,Ad] - One Pair, Tens, third card Ace

goldmoney wins $9000
Mnko wins $9000

Game: 2 | Hand: 7

BLIND LEVEL: $1000 / $2000
Seat 1: Dre ($1023000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($955000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2064000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($946000)
Seat 7: monna ($2969000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($927000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($1116000)
BLINDS: goldmoney ($1000), Mnko ($2000)
monna starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Dre calls $2000.
Enrique folds.
Snakebo calls $2000.
Sankar-India calls $2000.
monna calls $2000.
goldmoney calls $1000.
Mnko checks.

FLOP [board cards Qc,3h,Kh]
goldmoney bets $20000.
Mnko calls $20000.
Dre calls $20000.
Snakebo calls $20000.
Sankar-India calls $20000.
monna folds.

TURN [board cards Qc,3h,Kh,Qd]
goldmoney bets $40000.
Mnko calls $40000.
Dre folds.
Snakebo folds.
Sankar-India calls $40000.

RIVER [board cards Qc,3h,Kh,Qd,4d]
goldmoney bets $40000.
Mnko calls $40000.
Sankar-India calls $40000.
Sankar-India shows [ 5d,Kd] - Two Pairs, Kings and Queens, fifth card Five
goldmoney shows [ Kc,3d] - Two Pairs, Kings and Queens, fifth card Four
Mnko shows [ 3s,Jd] - Two Pairs, Queens and Threes

Sankar-India wins $352000

Game: 2 | Hand: 8

BLIND LEVEL: $1000 / $2000
Seat 1: Dre ($1001000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($955000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2042000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($1196000)
Seat 7: monna ($2967000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($825000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($1014000)
BLINDS: Mnko ($1000), Dre ($2000)
goldmoney starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Enrique calls $2000.
Snakebo calls $2000.
Sankar-India calls $2000.
monna calls $2000.
goldmoney calls $2000.
Mnko calls $1000.
Dre checks.

FLOP [board cards 6d,Ts,6h]
Mnko bets $30000.
Dre calls $30000.
Enrique folds.
Snakebo calls $30000.
Sankar-India calls $30000.
monna folds.
goldmoney bets $60000.
Mnko calls $30000.
Dre calls $30000.
Snakebo calls $30000.
Sankar-India folds.

TURN [board cards 6d,Ts,6h,4d]
Mnko bets $40000.
Dre calls $40000.
Snakebo folds.
goldmoney bets $80000.
Mnko calls $40000.
Dre calls $40000.

RIVER [board cards 6d,Ts,6h,4d,2c]
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
goldmoney bets $100000.
Mnko calls $100000.
Dre folds.
goldmoney shows [ 7c,Th] - Two Pairs, Tens and Sixes
Mnko shows [ 6c,3s] - Three of a Kind, Sixes

Mnko wins $724000

Game: 2 | Hand: 9

BLIND LEVEL: $2000 / $4000
Seat 1: Dre ($859000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($953000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($1980000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($1164000)
Seat 7: monna ($2965000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($583000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($1496000)
BLINDS: Dre ($2000), Enrique ($4000)
Mnko starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Snakebo calls $4000.
Sankar-India calls $4000.
monna calls $4000.
goldmoney calls $4000.
Mnko calls $4000.
Dre calls $2000.
Enrique checks.

FLOP [board cards Qh,4c,Th]
Dre folds.
Enrique checks.
Snakebo checks.
Sankar-India checks.
monna checks.
goldmoney bets $40000.
Mnko calls $40000.
Enrique folds.
Snakebo calls $40000.
Sankar-India folds.
monna calls $40000.

TURN [board cards Qh,4c,Th,4s]
Snakebo bets $10000.
monna calls $10000.
goldmoney bets $100000.
Mnko calls $100000.
Snakebo calls $90000.
monna calls $90000.

RIVER [board cards Qh,4c,Th,4s,5d]
Snakebo checks.
monna checks.
goldmoney bets $100000.
Mnko calls $100000.
Snakebo folds.
monna is all in with $2821000.
goldmoney is all in with $339000.
Mnko folds.
monna shows [ 6c,Ts] - Two Pairs, Tens and Fours
goldmoney shows [ Qc,Kc] - Two Pairs, Queens and Fours

goldmoney wins $1566000
monna wins $2382000 (side pot) monna has left the game!

Game: 2 | Hand: 10

BLIND LEVEL: $2000 / $4000
Seat 1: Dre ($855000)
Seat 2: Enrique ($949000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($1836000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($1160000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($1566000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($1252000)
BLINDS: Enrique ($2000), Snakebo ($4000)
Dre starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Sankar-India calls $4000.
monna folds.
goldmoney calls $4000.
Mnko calls $4000.
Dre calls $4000.
Enrique bets $95000.
Snakebo calls $93000.
Sankar-India calls $93000.
goldmoney folds.
Mnko calls $93000.
Dre calls $93000.

FLOP [board cards 5h,6d,Th]
Enrique is all in with $852000.
Snakebo folds.
Sankar-India calls $852000.
Mnko calls $852000.
Dre folds.

TURN [board cards 5h,6d,Th,7h]
Sankar-India checks.
Mnko checks.

RIVER [board cards 5h,6d,Th,7h,6c]
Sankar-India checks.
Mnko checks.
Enrique shows [ Ah,As] - Two Pairs, Aces and Sixes
Sankar-India shows [ 2d,Jd] - One Pair, Sixes
Mnko shows [ Jh,Kh] - Flush, King high

Mnko wins $3045000
Enrique sits out

Game: 2 | Hand: 11

BLIND LEVEL: $2000 / $4000
Seat 1: Dre ($758000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($1739000)
Seat 6: Sankar-India ($211000)
Seat 9: goldmoney ($1562000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3348000)
BLINDS: Snakebo ($2000), Sankar-India ($4000)

PREFLOP
goldmoney calls $4000.
goldmoney is game admin now!
Enrique has left the game!
Mnko calls $4000.
Dre folds.
Snakebo calls $2000.
Sankar-India checks.

FLOP [board cards 7s,Td,7h]
Snakebo bets $10000.
Sankar-India calls $10000.
goldmoney calls $10000.
Mnko calls $10000.

TURN [board cards 7s,Td,7h,4h]
Snakebo bets $10000.
Sankar-India bets $20000.
goldmoney calls $20000.
Mnko calls $20000.
Snakebo calls $10000.

RIVER [board cards 7s,Td,7h,4h,5h]
Snakebo is all in with $1705000.
Sankar-India is all in with $177000.
goldmoney is all in with $1528000.
Mnko folds.
Snakebo shows [ Jh,6h] - Flush, Jack high
Sankar-India shows [ 8h,7c] - Three of a Kind, Sevens
goldmoney shows [ 5s,Ah] - Two Pairs, Sevens and Fives

Snakebo wins $3546000
Sankar-India sits out
goldmoney sits out

Game: 2 | Hand: 12

BLIND LEVEL: $2000 / $4000
Seat 1: Dre ($758000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($3546000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3314000)
BLINDS: Mnko ($2000), Dre ($4000)
Snakebo starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Snakebo calls $4000.
Mnko calls $2000.
Mnko is game admin now!
goldmoney has left the game!
Dre checks.

FLOP [board cards 2d,7s,6c]
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Snakebo bets $10000.
Mnko calls $10000.
Dre calls $10000.

TURN [board cards 2d,7s,6c,8c]
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Snakebo bets $10000.
Mnko bets $20000.
Dre calls $20000.
Snakebo calls $10000.

RIVER [board cards 2d,7s,6c,8c,9s]
Mnko bets $250000.
Dre calls $250000.
Snakebo is all in with $3512000.
Sankar-India has left the game!
Mnko folds.
Dre is all in with $474000.
Dre shows [ Th,Ac] - Straight, Ten high
Snakebo shows [ 9h,6h] - Two Pairs, Nines and Sixes

Dre wins $1800000
Snakebo wins $2788000 (side pot)

Game: 2 | Hand: 13

BLIND LEVEL: $4000 / $8000
Seat 1: Dre ($1800000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2788000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3030000)
BLINDS: Dre ($4000), Snakebo ($8000)
Mnko starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Mnko calls $8000.
Dre calls $4000.
Snakebo checks.

FLOP [board cards 2d,6s,Th]
Dre checks.
Snakebo checks.
Mnko checks.

TURN [board cards 2d,6s,Th,Ad]
Dre checks.
Snakebo checks.
Mnko checks.

RIVER [board cards 2d,6s,Th,Ad,7h]
Dre checks.
Snakebo checks.
Mnko bets $140000.
Dre folds.
Snakebo folds.

Mnko wins $164000

Game: 2 | Hand: 14

BLIND LEVEL: $4000 / $8000
Seat 1: Dre ($1792000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2780000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3046000)
BLINDS: Snakebo ($4000), Mnko ($8000)
Dre starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Dre folds.
Snakebo folds.

Mnko wins $12000

Game: 2 | Hand: 15

BLIND LEVEL: $4000 / $8000
Seat 1: Dre ($1792000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2776000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3050000)
BLINDS: Mnko ($4000), Dre ($8000)
Snakebo starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Snakebo bets $16000.
Mnko calls $12000.
Dre calls $8000.

FLOP [board cards 9c,As,8h]
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Snakebo bets $10000.
Mnko calls $10000.
Dre calls $10000.

TURN [board cards 9c,As,8h,Jh]
Mnko checks.
Dre checks.
Snakebo bets $10000.
Mnko folds.
Dre folds.

Snakebo wins $88000

Game: 2 | Hand: 16

BLIND LEVEL: $4000 / $8000
Seat 1: Dre ($1766000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2828000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3024000)
BLINDS: Dre ($4000), Snakebo ($8000)
Mnko starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Mnko calls $8000.
Dre calls $4000.
Snakebo bets $8000.
Mnko calls $8000.
Dre calls $8000.

FLOP [board cards 4s,9d,Qh]
Dre checks.
Snakebo checks.
Mnko checks.

TURN [board cards 4s,9d,Qh,2c]
Dre checks.
Snakebo checks.
Mnko checks.

RIVER [board cards 4s,9d,Qh,2c,Jd]
Dre checks.
Snakebo checks.
Mnko checks.
Dre shows [ Ac,7c] - High Card, Ace, fifth card Seven
Snakebo shows [ 8c,Ad] - High Card, Ace, fifth card Eight
Mnko shows [ 6s,7d] - High Card, Queen

Snakebo wins $48000

Game: 2 | Hand: 17

BLIND LEVEL: $8000 / $16000
Seat 1: Dre ($1750000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2860000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($3008000)
BLINDS: Snakebo ($8000), Mnko ($16000)
Dre starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Dre calls $16000.
Snakebo calls $8000.
Mnko checks.

FLOP [board cards Ad,3c,3s]
Snakebo bets $16000.
Mnko calls $16000.
Dre calls $16000.

TURN [board cards Ad,3c,3s,7h]
Snakebo bets $16000.
Mnko calls $16000.
Dre calls $16000.

RIVER [board cards Ad,3c,3s,7h,4h]
Snakebo bets $16000.
Mnko calls $16000.
Dre calls $16000.
Dre shows [ Ks,Tc] - One Pair, Threes, fifth card Ten
Snakebo shows [ 7c,Qs] - Two Pairs, Sevens and Threes
Mnko shows [ Kd,8d] - One Pair, Threes, fifth card Eight

Snakebo wins $192000

Game: 2 | Hand: 18

BLIND LEVEL: $8000 / $16000
Seat 1: Dre ($1686000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($2988000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($2944000)
BLINDS: Mnko ($8000), Dre ($16000)
Snakebo starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Snakebo calls $16000.
Mnko calls $8000.
Dre checks.

FLOP [board cards Jd,Qc,9s]
Mnko bets $180000.
Dre folds.
Snakebo bets $360000.
Mnko calls $180000.

TURN [board cards Jd,Qc,9s,4d]
Mnko bets $420000.
Snakebo bets $840000.
Mnko calls $420000.

RIVER [board cards Jd,Qc,9s,4d,5d]
Mnko is all in with $1728000.
Snakebo calls $1728000.
Snakebo shows [ Tc,Qs] - One Pair, Queens
Mnko shows [ Td,Kh] - Straight, King high

Mnko wins $5904000

Game: 2 | Hand: 19

BLIND LEVEL: $8000 / $16000
Seat 1: Dre ($1670000)
Seat 4: Snakebo ($44000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($5904000)
BLINDS: Dre ($8000), Snakebo ($16000)
Mnko starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Mnko calls $16000.
Dre calls $8000.
Snakebo checks.

FLOP [board cards 3s,Jc,Jd]
Dre checks.
Snakebo is all in with $28000.
Mnko calls $28000.
Dre calls $28000.

TURN [board cards 3s,Jc,Jd,7d]
Dre checks.
Mnko checks.

RIVER [board cards 3s,Jc,Jd,7d,7c]
Dre checks.
Mnko checks.
Dre shows [ 3c,Tc] - Two Pairs, Jacks and Sevens, fifth card Ten
Snakebo shows [ 3h,6d] - Two Pairs, Jacks and Sevens, fifth card Six
Mnko shows [ 2h,2s] - Two Pairs, Jacks and Sevens, fifth card Three

Dre wins $132000
Snakebo sits out

Game: 2 | Hand: 20

BLIND LEVEL: $8000 / $16000
Seat 1: Dre ($1758000)
Seat 10: Mnko ($5860000)
BLINDS: Dre ($8000), Mnko ($16000)
Dre starts as dealer.

PREFLOP
Snakebo has left the game!
Dre calls $8000.
Mnko checks.

FLOP [board cards 4s,3d,Js]
Mnko bets $350000.
Dre bets $700000.
Mnko calls $350000.

TURN [board cards 4s,3d,Js,8s]
Mnko checks.
Dre bets $100000.
Mnko calls $100000.

RIVER [board cards 4s,3d,Js,8s,6h]
Mnko is all in with $5044000.
Dre is all in with $942000.
Dre shows [ 3s,4d] - Two Pairs, Fours and Threes
Mnko shows [ Jh,3c] - Two Pairs, Jacks and Threes

Mnko wins $7618000
Dre sits out

Mnko wins game 2!
Dre is game admin now!
Mnko has left the game!

Feliz Monavidad

Seguro que muchos de vosotros no os disteis cuenta de que ayer fue Noche Pendeja hoy es Monavidad, no pasa nada, somos una religión pequeña pero comprensiva.
Llamad al señor y felicitadle.

Otro milagro del Señor

Ha conseguido diseñar el culito femenino perfecto, viva Él.

PD: Para nuestras queridas y fieles lectoras (las dos, dudo que tengamos más), lo vuestros son muuuuucho mejores (de lejos).
PD: Esto no es cochinada, es arte.

Descubrimiento histórico

Tras años de trabajo como rata de biblioteca (o más bien como hámster de la web), he hallado documentos históricos que nos hablan de un gran profeta de nuestra fe.
Se trata de un sobresaliente ingeniero natural de Piedrabuena, Ciudad Real, cuyo nombre no creeríais. Él es El Gran Mónico. Inventor de una máquina portátil de Rayos-X usada en la Primera Guerra Mundial.

Más información sobre La Persona, con fotos suyas y de su máquina aquí, aquí y aquí.

La indefinición monicana.

Queridos hermanos, estamos hoy aquí reunidos para dilucidar entre todos  la naturaleza de nuestro señor, he aquí las posibilidades:

1. Mónico es uno y trino.
2. Mónico es uno y trina.
3. Mónico es uno que bebe Trina.
4. Mónico está que trina.
5. Mónico conoce a Cotrina.

Decidid pues qué será de M&M (Mónico y Manuel)

Pasando el cepillo

Mónico Nuestro Señor  (M.N.S. para los amantes de las siglas) necesita hacer unas reparaciones en su casa (la casa del Señor) y por eso ha decidido que en vez de pedir dinero  (como los dioses pobres) venderá lotería.
Son 4 luris, pero recordad que un décimo monicano tiene aproximadamente el doble de probabilidad de pillar premio que un décimo normal (empídrico).

Y recordad amiguitos, le damos al Señor, pero el nos devuelve mucho más.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamén.

Canción de Misa

Nuestra iglesia también tiene salmos, loas, alabanzas y , cómo no, canciones de misa.
Para ser un buen monicano (o una buena monicana) has de saberte ésta alegre cancioncilla y estar dispuesto (o dispuesta) a cantarla en las reuniones.
Se trata de un hermoso gospel de origen ignoto lleno de culpabilidad y voluntad de redención.
La historia dice que era tarareado por nuestro Dios en los días de pena y labor.

I've been a wild rover for many's the year
and I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer.
But now I'm returning with gold in great store
and I never will play the wild rover no more

Estribillo:
And it's no, nay, never,
no, nay, never, no more
will I play the wild rover
no, never, no more

I went into an ale-house I used to frequent
and I told the landlady my money was spent.
I asked her for credit, she answered me nay,
Such "a custom like yours I can have any day

Estribillo

I took from my pocket ten sovereigns bright
and the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight.
She said I'd have whiskey and wines of the best
and the words that she told me were only in jest.

Estribillo

I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done,
and I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son.
And when they've caressed me as oft' times before
then I never will play the wild rover no more

Estribillo X2

LA CREACIÓN: Día 2º

Moni dijo: "Que haya un firmamento en medio de las aguas, quiero montar un spa para que establezca una separación entre ellas". Y así sucedió (después de comparar los presuestos de varios contratistas).  Moni hizo el firmamento (que le quedó muy bonito), y este separó las aguas que están debajo de él, de las que están encima de él, luego comprobó que no eran dos aguas exactamente, lo de arriba era cerveza, lo cual sirvió para alegrale el día).

Moni llamó Cielo al firmamento creado con cerveza (dijo algo así como "Esto debe ser el Cielo"). Por algún extraño motivo, los amantes se llaman "cielo" el uno al otro sin estar hechos de cerveza, Moni desaprueba esto. 

Así hubo una tarde y una mañana: este fue el segundo día. Como por aquel entonces Rojadirecta.com aún no estaba  operativa, se fue a sobar.